Being a Student Whisperer
There comes a time, after you have been teaching a while, when you hear a student speak and you can hear the messages the adults in their life have said to them. It might be the words chosen or the opinions that seem years beyond their age. The same thing happens to all of us as parents when we hear our children repeat what we have said to them many times when they interact with others. I know when my son was young, I heard him speak to my younger daughter in a kind, reassuring way when she fell. It sounded the way I talked to him in the past when he hurt himself. Sadly, we also can hear our children speak to others with the harsh words we sometimes use with them in our darker moments.
Children repeat this same pattern when they are in school. Younger children in their innocence freely share clues about life at home. Many a preschool teacher can tell you the secrets their students share; everything from what parents wear or don’t wear to bed or how many times they have eaten cereal for dinner that week.
In the same way, the things I hear from my high school students tell me a fuller story of these students and what their life at home is like. It can tell me about the love or the lack of love they have experienced. As older students, they are not obviously sharing like young children. However, they might be unaware how an experienced teacher can read between the lines. In the more severe cases, teachers are aware as mandated reporters of hints of abuse or neglect. But, in less severe cases, it gives teachers the chance to understand a student’s behavior and explain difficulties like forming relationships with teachers and peers. It allows me to place my frustration with them in a larger picture of who they are as an individual and their true lived existence. I see their behaviors in light of their past history and experience with adults, authority and peers. This insight is the first step I take in order to reach them as their teacher and before I can even begin to teach them.
Students Learn The Way They Have Lived
A student who has lived with criticism
learns not to take risks
A student who has lived in chaos
learns it is hard to concentrate in school
A student who has lived with bullying
learns school is a scary place
A student who has lived struggling in school
learns school is not a place to feel good about oneself
A student who has lived with violence
learns to always be on guard
A student who has lived through trauma
learns memories haunt them when they try to learn
A student who has lived ignored by adults
learns any way possible to get the attention of adults
A student who has lived through the loss of a parent
learns not to depend on teachers
A student who has lived without the joy of learning
learns not to be enthusiastic and curious about learning
A student who has lived with adults who talk to them harshly
learns to speak harshly to teachers and students
A student who has lived without their basic needs met
learns to focus only on getting their basic needs met
A student who has lived without support and encouragement
learns not to expect support and encouragement
A student who has lived without love
learns not to trust teachers
